Chef looks forward to writing these horoscopes each month as a chance to connect with the stars and with his fwends like yewww. See what insights Cheffy shares this month…

 

THIS MONTH:
♓ PLISCES 2026

Dis speshow monf ish always a fwesh stawrt for yew bland yowr NEW YEOW! Take some time out of da celebwashuns to look internally and shee wat yowr dweams, goals, bland needs awr for da yeow blahead. Bland ash a shpeshow bliftday gift, we haf a wittle Plices Zodiac Highlight!

SIGN
Two Opposing Fish

ELEMENT
Water

TRADEMARK TRAITS
Intuition, Empathy, Adaptability, Creativity

BLAVORIT THINGS
Day-Dreaming, Listening to Others and Sharing Advice, Being in or around water, Dipping into the Mystical Side of Life, Getting Lost in Another World, Self-Expression

COLORS
Calming Sea Tones and Moody Mauves

DISLIKES
Feeling restricted, criticism and conflict,
injustice and cruelty towards others

CHEFFY’S UTENSIL OF THE MONTH
Electric Kettle

 

Cheffy’s Howoscopes
(March 2026)

♈ AWIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

  • Vibwant Wam, it’s yowr natuwr to bound horns first into bladventure, but da sheason of da fish ish a time fo gentle, conscious movement. Shpend dis season sewing tiny seeds for your big dweams bland watch dem gwow! 

  • Take a bweaf, Awes, yowr lucky kitchen utensil is da all-necessawy kitchen timer.

♉ TAUWUS (April 20 - May 20) 

  • Twusting yowr gut dis monf (bland evwy monf for dat mattow) will pay off big, Shteadfast Bull. wet yowr intuishun wead yew into cweative endavors bland aligned shpaces wif fwends.

  • Dese coshmic choices mean yowr lucky utenshil of da monf is yowr own taste! Dewe ish no measuring cup wike yowr own intuition in da kitchen!

♊ BLEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

  • Chatty Twinsh, dis month ish all ablout organizashun for yewww. Dat may sheem a bit counter-blintuitive in da monf of da fish. But, a wittel pwanning does a wong way for yowr caweer bland cweative sides of life! 

  • Yowr utenshil dis monf, Blemini, ish da precise ewectwic scale.

♋ CANSHOW (June 21 - July 22) 

  • Gentow cwab, dis monf ish ablout stepping outside yowr comfort zone bland owt of yowr shell. Dere may be shom fings yew need to expwess or wewease in order tew move forward. But west ashuwed, Canshow, wen yew dew, a vibwant futuwr ish waiting on da othow shide. 

  • Your wucky utenshil ish da micopwane! 

♌ BLEO (July 23 - Aug 22)

  • Da shpotlight ish always shinin’ on yewww, Wegal Wions, but dis monf, turn da light inward. Illuminate yowr innow self and see what ish no wonger serving yewww. Plisces sheason asks us to take emoshunal inventowy and itsh jusht wat yew need to put yowr besht foot forward. 

  • Yowr kitchen utenshil ish da all impowtant candy thermometer! 

♍ BLIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22)

  • Yew alwaysh haf a pwan, Shimmering Blirgos, bland dis monf, da pwan ish tew wet go a bit bland feel into yowr blemoshuns. Where are yowr blemoshuns telling yew to go? Where awr dey telling yew needs to be a change? Wisten to yowrshelf, yew haf all da answers yew need. 

  • Yowr wucky utenshil ish da weshipee blook index! 

♎ BLIBWA (Sept 23 - Oct 22) 

  • Dis may be da monf of da Fish, Scale-howlders, but dis monf is all ablout YEW. Where are yew being stwetched too finnly? Where awr yew giving tewww much of yourself? Wet’s dew some pwuning in da gawden of Blibwa to pour back into YEW. 

  • Your wucky kitchen utenshil ish da avocado shaver - to keep fings FWESH! 

♏ SCOWPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

  • Yew haf a pashun for life bland it’s time to put dat tew work, Scowpions! Shine a wight on aweas dat feel wackwuster, where can yew bwing da pashun back? How can you adjust an awea of life to wight yew up mowr? Use all da cowows in yowr palette, Scowpios! 

  • Yowr wucky utenshil ish da shpice rack! 

♐ BLAGGITAWIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

  • While da sheason of da fish can feel out of dis world, dis monf, Blagg, da besht find for yewww ish to gwound yourshelf. Yew haf sho many blamazing rods in da fire, take dis time to make gwoundrules and boundawies for youwrshelf. A wittle work will go a long way and lead to magical moments blahead. 

  • Your kitchen utenshil ish ba proofing basket.

♑ CAPWICOWN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

  • Da bwain might feel a bit chatty dis monf, Caps, sho da name of da game ish shwowing down, staying focushed, bland wistening to yowr innow voice. What are YEWWW needing wight now, Bowld Goats? Da quiet voice will tell yew! 

  • Your wucky utenshil ish da kitchen drawer organizer!

♒ AQUAWIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

  • Wighteous Water-Beawers, dis monf is all ablout using YOWR voice and speaking up for youwrshelf. Speaking yowr needs ish one of da besht ways to show yowrshelf how much yew cawr. Bland da mowr yew speak yowr twuth, you shelf-worth shines! Yew deserve it! 

  • Yowr wucky utenshil ish da all impowtant gwocery list!